Embracing Difficult Conversations for Organizational Growth

Introduction

This article looks at how avoiding hard conversations hinders team performance and growth and how vulnerability training can help improve team communication, build trust, and deliver results—potentially saving organizations millions.

Every difficult conversation is an opportunity for growth for an organization, irrespective of size.

If individuals and teams can learn what it takes to have these difficult conversations—communication and behavioral skills and the right perspective—they will cease to be so complicated.

And when they stop being complicated, that growth can translate into greater productivity, more credibility, and revenue.

What Makes Conversations Difficult Within Teams?

"Wherever there are emotions involved, it's bound to be difficult. And that applies to our conversations at work," explained Mridula Ujjwal, Director of People Transformation at Axelerant.

Here are some significant reasons why individuals within teams often avoid conversations that make them uncomfortable.

Fear of Conflict and Negative Outcomes

Many leaders and team members fear addressing sensitive topics will lead to conflict.

This fear of creating tension or being perceived as aggressive often leads them to sidestep the conversation entirely.

In their book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, authors Stone, Patton, and Heen discuss how this fear often stems from uncertainty about how the conversation will unfold.

There is also a concern that the conversation might lead to retaliation, and this fear of an adverse outcome can make the risk seem greater than the potential benefit, paralyzing action. 

Uncertainty About How to Approach

Conversations about performance, behavior, or team dynamics can feel like navigating a minefield.

And that goes both ways: for team leads and their reports.

In Difficult Conversations, the authors explain that the struggle often lies in not knowing how to express concerns without triggering defensiveness.

Even with the best intentions, employees avoid these hard conversations for fear of sounding accusatory or rude.

Worry About Damaging Relationships

Even in well-functioning, closely-knit teams, concerns about harming relationships or disrupting the team's harmony might be an influential barrier.

The fear of upsetting team members—colleagues with whom it had taken years to form a good relationship—can make these discussions even more daunting.

In Difficult Conversations, the authors point out that this worry about relationships can cloud judgment, causing people to prioritize short-term harmony over long-term solutions.

Cultural Norms and Stigma Around Vulnerability

In many workplaces and within teams, admitting difficulties is often a big no-no.

In Dare to Lead, author Brené Brown emphasizes that cultural norms often equate vulnerability with weakness.

These work cultures create layers of subtle barriers that discourage open and honest communication, causing people to hold back from discussing what's really on their minds.

Brené Brown argues in her book that the stigma around vulnerability leads to a culture of avoidance, where people are more concerned with self-protection than open dialogue.

Lack of Right Communication Skills

"The skills required to overcome one's blockers and have difficult conversations productively are often expected of employees at face value. But these skills don't come naturally to everyone," said Mridula. 

Without the right communication tools and strategies, these conversations can feel awkward. 

In some cases, they can even be triggering for individuals who've had negative experiences in similar situations in the past.

Desire to Avoid Discomfort

At its core, having hard conversations is uncomfortable.

It requires stepping into an unknown and often emotionally charged space, which most people naturally want to avoid.

In Dare to Lead, author Brené Brown explains that this discomfort is a natural part of vulnerability.

She discovered that people often actively avoid these moments of discomfort and miss out on the growth and connection that can result from facing them directly.

Fear of Negative Outcomes

There is a concern that the conversation might not go as planned, potentially leading to defensiveness, denial, or even retaliation. 

This fear of an adverse outcome can make the risk seem greater than the potential benefit. Stone, Patton, and Heen note in Difficult Conversations that the fear of things going wrong can paralyze action. 

They advocate for preparation and empathy as tools to navigate these conversations more effectively.

The Business Impact of Choosing Comfort Over Courage

Each avoided conversation slowly chips away at team effectiveness.

"When people choose comfort over courage, it creates a ripple effect that is eventually felt across the agency," shared Mridula. 

Unspoken frustrations build up, misunderstandings become commonplace, and a culture of avoidance sets in. Team members operate on assumptions rather than clarity.

"Avoiding these conversations also sends a subtle message to the team—that it's acceptable to ignore issues rather than confront them," she said. 

Stagnation in Innovation

When team members hesitate to voice concerns or challenge ideas, innovation suffers. 

People stick to doing what they are told for fear of ruffling feathers.

This lack of open dialogue can stifle creativity and opportunities for growth and development.

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Decreased Employee Engagement 

Employees who feel unheard or unable to address issues have a high chance of becoming disengaged.

This can lead to lower productivity, reduced morale, and higher turnover rates.

Research shows that employees are 45% more likely to leave within six months when engagement drops.

And the cost of replacing frontline employees is roughly half their salary and up to 2.5 times a knowledge worker's salary. 

Increased Conflict And Miscommunication 

People believe skirting past hard conversations can help them avoid conflicts and keep relationships smooth.

Contrarily, these sidesteps create the perfect breeding ground for misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts to become larger crises.

And it also comes with a high cost.

Every avoided conversation becomes a perpetual resource-sappers.

Here's why: Poor communication could cost your company more than 18% of the total salaries paid.

And organizations incur that cost year after year. 

Poor Decision-Making 

When avoiding difficult conversations, like seeking clarity at the cost of being perceived as slow or incompetent, team members operate on assumptions.

These assumptions, based on which work proceeds on the ground, stretch project delivery timelines and increase completion costs.

And they always leave clients wondering with irritation: Why didn’t they just ask?

The Surprising Answer: Vulnerability 

Agency leaders strive for a team that communicates openly, shares innovative ideas, and confronts challenges head-on.

"Vulnerability within a team is often the missing link between a group of skilled individuals and a truly cohesive, high-performing unit," explained Mridula.

Being vulnerable doesn't mean exposing every fear or insecurity in front of people.

It manifests in teams when its members feel safe to voice their ideas, admit mistakes, and ask for help.

"In my experience, the more senior a position a person holds, the less likely they are to ask for help from their colleagues," Mridula shared.  

The Absence of Vulnerability Points to Trust Issues

In The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, author Patrick Lencioni identifies the lack of trust as the foundation for team dysfunction.

He asserts that vulnerability is the root of trust. Without it, team members are unwilling to admit weaknesses or concerns, leading to an atmosphere where genuine collaboration is almost absent.

It Also Indicates Low Psychological Safety In Teams

People often don’t show vulnerability because somewhere they sense it might not be taken well by teammates.

Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School,

Amy Edmondson's research on psychological safety reinforces this idea. 

In her study, Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams, she found that teams with high psychological safety are likelier:

• To engage in open communication more often
• Take risks 
• Learn from failure effectively

Vulnerability is the Magic Potion for High Performing Teams

Many agency leaders overlook the importance of nurturing vulnerability in the work environment. 

They push for results, innovation, and efficiency but miss the underlying barrier—the fear within their teams. 

Teams that lack vulnerability end up operating in silos, avoiding hard conversations, and suppressing creative thought. 

Increased Trust and Collaboration

Vulnerability enables an environment of trust, which is crucial for collaboration.

According to a study by Google's Project Aristotle, psychological safety, which includes vulnerability, was identified as the most critical factor in determining high-performing teams.

Teams with high psychological safety were more likely to harness the power of diverse perspectives and collaborate effectively.

Better Problem Solving And Innovation

Research from MIT's Human Dynamics Laboratory shows that team communication patterns, including openness and trust, are strong predictors of team success.

Their research indicated that teams that embrace vulnerability and open communication are up to 35% more likely to develop innovative solutions and improve processes.

High-performing teams share information freely, which leads to more creative problem-solving.

Greater Accountability And Ownership

Teams that practice vulnerability and openness have higher levels of accountability.

"When employees are comfortable with being vulnerable, they will hold themselves accountable by owning up to their mistakes," shared Mridula.

In an article, Harvard Business School Professor Nien-hê Hsieh explains that vulnerability is a root factor in ensuring accountability within teams, especially for leaders and managers.  

Enhanced Learning And Growth

Teams with a strong culture of feedback and vulnerability are more likely to embrace continuous learning and growth at work.

"When employees stop fearing vulnerability, embracing growth, learning new skills, and developing themselves becomes easier," said Mridula.

According to a Deloitte study, organizations with a strong learning culture are 17% more likely to be market share leaders.

Stronger Resilience

According to a study by Harvard Business School, teams that demonstrate vulnerability, especially during crises, build resilience and recover faster.

The study suggests that teams that engage in open dialogue about challenges are more likely to overcome setbacks and return to high performance. 

How Can You Enable Your Teams To Have Difficult Conversations? 

Creating an environment where difficult conversations are not just possible but welcomed requires intentional effort from leaders.

Here are some practical steps that leaders can take to enable their teams to navigate challenging discussions with confidence and clarity.

Establishing Psychological Safety in Teams

It is crucial to create a space where team members feel safe expressing their thoughts without fear of judgment.

Encourage open dialogue by inviting feedback and acknowledging diverse perspectives.

When team members see their input is valued and respected, they are more likely to engage in difficult conversations.

According to a report by Gallup, promoting psychological safety at work can result in a 12% increase in productivity. 

Leading by Example: How Leaders Can Model Vulnerability

Leaders set the tone for how vulnerability is perceived. 

By openly admitting mistakes, expressing uncertainty, or asking for help, leaders can demonstrate that it's okay to be imperfect. 

This behavior shows the team that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and encourages others to do the same.

Setting Contextual and Professional Boundaries

"Promoting vulnerability within a team requires setting clear boundaries," shared Mridula.

While openness is encouraged, it's important to maintain a professional space where personal information is shared appropriately and within the proper context.

Leaders should set an example by discussing challenges and feelings in a way relevant to the team's objectives, ensuring that vulnerability enhances rather than hinders the work environment.

Encouraging Feedback Loops and Setting Up Regular Check-ins

"Feedback has a negative connotation in people's minds because it's usually a one-way, top-to-bottom communication, where the receiver mainly gets reprimanded for something," Mridula explained.

Create regular opportunities for team members to give and receive feedback.

This can be achieved through structured meetings, one-on-one sessions, or informal check-ins.

When feedback becomes a routine practice, it normalizes difficult conversations and reduces the fear associated with them.

Paying Attention to Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues

Leaders must be attuned to both what is being said and what is left unsaid.

"Body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions can provide insights into a team member's true feelings. By being observant and responsive to these cues, team members can address issues with empathy and sensitivity or step back when people are uncomfortable," Mridula shared. 

Addressing Issues in Real-Time Rather Than Letting Them Fester

Procrastination can turn minor issues into major problems.

When team members tackle issues promptly and directly, they set a precedent for transparency and constructive dialogue for future instances where hard conversations might be needed.

Moreover, when leaders address concerns proactively, it shows the team that open communication is valued. 

Respecting People's Privacy

"It's non-negotiable to ensure that personal matters discussed are kept confidential and handled with discretion," said Mridula.

When team members know their privacy is respected, they feel more secure in sharing concerns.

This trust is fundamental for cultivating an environment where difficult conversations can happen without fear of judgment or repercussion.

Cultivating a Culture of Mutual Respect

Mutual respect must be the foundation of every interaction within the team, regardless of hierarchy.

Leaders should actively promote a culture where every voice is heard and valued.

By modeling respectful behavior and reinforcing it within the team, leaders can create an environment where difficult conversations are approached with empathy and understanding.

Read how living our core value of Kindness empowers our team members to work more meaningfully.  

Why Do Teams Need Vulnerability Group Coaching 

“From my experience, I’ve seen the agencies opt for vulnerability group coaching especially when things have already gone wrong. But it can be a powerful tool to prevent high-performing teams from running into the ground,” Mridula shared.

The need arises most when teams fall into distressing patterns of stagnation or receive negative feedback from clients. 

Or unproductive behavior becomes rampant in team interactions, which causes the double whammy of increasing attrition and decreased productivity. 

“Group or team coaching allows for a collective journey where people move away from sticking only with easy conversations to becoming comfortable with having authentic conversations,” Mridula said.

Untrained Conversations May Prove Costly to the Organization 

Without proper training, initiating difficult conversations can be uncomfortable and awkward.

This discomfort is precisely what makes these conversations so difficult to have in the first place.

Team members may unintentionally come across as rude or disrespectful, depending on their position within the team, even when they don’t mean to.

This often leads to miscommunication and unnecessary friction within the team.

Group Coaching Sets a Collective Tone

Vulnerability group coaching addresses this by setting a collective tone for the entire team.

Coaching ensures that everyone is on the same page about what vulnerability means in a work setting.

It provides a structured approach where team members are guided to understand how to be open and honest without the fear of negative consequences.

This creates an environment of trust and respect, where difficult conversations can take place productively.

Provides Necessary Supportive Environment for Growth

Coaching offers a supportive space where team members can develop the necessary skills to have hard conversations without causing unintended harm.

It equips teams with tools to navigate difficult topics while maintaining respect and professionalism.

In the absence of training, these conversations often go off-track, leading to further problems instead of resolution.

Empowers Teams in Solving Real-World Problems

Coaching empowers team members by meeting them where they are. It provides them with the behavioral skills needed to communicate effectively and productively in real-world situations.

These tools help transform everyday conversations into opportunities for growth and high performance. Teams that undergo vulnerability coaching are better equipped to handle challenges and maintain long-term productivity.

“Hard conversations don’t become easy all of a sudden,” Mridula explained, “but with a conscious effort and the necessary skills, people start preferring authentic conversations to easy ones.”